bush dispatches nat’l guard to borders bookstores

ah, satire…

from democratic underground: In an effort to prevent the gravest threat to the survival of the GOP, President Bush has announced that he will send the entire National Guard to Borders bookstores across the nation.

Addressing the country in a prime-time speech, Mr. Bush explained that the only way for him to even maintain his miniscule approval ratings was to ensure that no additional citizens have access to books or other reading material, and thus develop the type of critical thinking that is fatal to Republican domination.

The President also stated that this extraordinary deployment of the National Guard would have a dual benefit: not only will it prevent additional people from becoming educated, but it would effectively seal off and imprison in the bookstores those unpatriotic intellectuals who were already inside.

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